More to today....

Its been a rough day I guess you could say. I am stressed with school and need like 6 days off to get these projects done for it. I am going to DeVry University to finisih my degree in Business Admin. I want to be an event coordinator. That is my end goal.

The things that calm me down are "Criminal Minds" killer scenarios. I know that is sick and twisted. But I see those types of things and my mind calms down. Its odd. But it works for me. Right now, a few mins alone with SSA Hotchner would be great. I need a punching bag or something that can relieve some of this pent up stress and anxiety! Went for a walk, but that didnt help. Sat in my sauna,....that didnt help. Going to try and just take deep breaths.:-(

Day 5

Luna (my dog) and I were in the mood to walk around our block twice....ok I was in the mood not her. She was dead to the world when we got home. So tired. You would be tired to if you legs were 3 inches long. :-) Shes my little princess. I am planning her birthday right now. She will be 2! We dont have kids, so this is our baby. Weight loss update. Havent weighed myself this morning. Started work at 6:45 my time, so my brain wasnt awake enough to stumble onto the scale. My break is in a few mins so I will go upstairs get some water and weigh myself. Update to come.

Day 4

Had a great day with my friend Jodee. Sat in the sauna for probably longer than we should have, but I feel so much better. Went to lunch and then came home and went for a walk. I needed the walk...man I sound like my puppy! Then started cleaning my office. It was getting under my skin, that I couldn't even step in there. Jodee came over and saw the office, and I was mortified. Mapped out my hike for the dreaded "incline" if you wanna research it, its the Manitou Incline in Colorado. This is what I am gearing myself up too...I am scared but I can do it. I weighed myself again today and it went up. STUPID BURGER yesterday. So I have to be extra careful during my next work week. Well I better get back to cleaning my office. I have "Criminal Minds" in the back ground so I have some company.

Day 3

OK, so I weighed myself this morning after I woke up and went to the bathroom (I have always heard to weigh your self in the morning after "going") I have losed a total of 6 since starting this weight loss program that was a week ago. I am not getting my hopes up to much about this cause I can drink water and gain 10 lbs...so we shall see tomorrow.

To day I ate a hamburger (I know!!! not very diet P.C) but it was a small one and no fries! And lots of water. Then I had dinner with the hubby it was yummy. Made my tummy heart though, so not to happy about it. Tomorrow is my day off and my amazing friend Jodee is coming over. We are going to sit in the sauna and have the stress of the work week melt away. Then I am chained to this house until I feel its clean enough...um that might be never OY. such is life. Tootles for now.

Day 2

So I have cut out sugar. That includes soda. OMG what have I gotten myself into? My normal routine is get up mosey on down to my office and clock in. BUT to wake myself up in the morning I usually grab a coke to boost my awake-ness...since I am no longer drinking soda, I drank water. In high school, I would drink water in the morning and get sick :-( It didnt make me sick, so this is a good thing. I had buffalo chicken nachos for lunch, SO GOOD. Worked a few more hours and now off work. I work from home, so its nice when I am off early I can come upstairs from my dungon of an office and get things done around the house....ok ok usually I lay on the couch watch Food Network, and munch on food. Today, I came up stairs and took a shower and did laundry. Its to windy to go outside...I know I am a whimp but I dont like wind. So I am trying to keep my body moving. My back isnt like that, but the end result I will. Also hanging out with my Luna (shes my 2 year old puppy)

OH LORD, its me again. This is at my yearly Christmas tea with my mom and Grandma and sister. I love my hair in this picture, but thats about it. 

The Before Picture! (oh its dreaded!!!!!)

This is me on a "cruise" with my friend Kristen. As you can see I need some work.

Day 1

So where do I start? I am 25 years old and over weight...can you guys that from the title? I have been over weight my whole life, well as far back as I can remember. I was active in elementary school on the swim team and did really good. But was still chunky. The girls on the bus would call me pancake face. Then middle school happened and I just kept getting bigger. I didn't eat right, and I didn't exercise the way I probably should have. A few times my best friend in middle school and I got up early to go running at the school. but that only happened once or twice. My parents divorced when I was little, not saying that added to my over eating and no moving, but it added stress to my life. My mom and dad both remarried, and that brought even more stress to me. I never felt good enough for my step mom, and to this day honestly I still don't. I feel that she judges me for some reason. And that reason I think is cause I am fat. If i buy something while I am out with her that is either food, or large clothing, then to me I always think she is saying"you don't need that." I love my step mom, don't get me wrong I love her very much. I just wish that I could be better for her some how. 

My other family members also haven't made being chunky any easier. My brother, who is the golden child of the family is fit. He was a wrestler in high school, and continued to keep in shape. His wife is also very thin. She made a comment to my sister about me making bad decisions when it came to food to my little sister, and that hurt me deep. She had only  met me once and she was judging me on account of what I ate that night. I can't even remember what I ate. 

My mom and her husband are always supportive when it comes to bettering myself. They even paid for me to be on Jenny Craig before I got married. I lost a ton of weight then and looked amazing on my wedding day. I didn't feel fat or heavy or anything. It was a great day. Looking back, I would do anything to be that size again. 

All the time, my dad is saying "if you just cut out sweets, you will lose weight." or "if you stop drinking soda you will lose weight" its like is there nothing else on your mind then my weight? seriously it drives me crazy.

The only one who doesn't make me feel like a fat slob is my husband. I love him to death. He is my high school sweetheart and I would be lost with out him. He has seen me at my thinnest and my heaviest (which is now) and he still tells me I am beautiful and he thinks I am sexy. Babe, you are my everything and I promise to be make our lives better with this weight loss journey.

So here is my challenge to my self. To eat right, and to keep a food journal and an activity journal. I am starting the Weight Watchers Points Plus Plan this week. And I am going to be strict about what I eat and when I exercise. So not sure any one will read this, but I am determined to get healthy. To me, its not about being stick thin, its about being healthy. The smaller pants will be a bonus :-) So here I go....