Day 1

So where do I start? I am 25 years old and over weight...can you guys that from the title? I have been over weight my whole life, well as far back as I can remember. I was active in elementary school on the swim team and did really good. But was still chunky. The girls on the bus would call me pancake face. Then middle school happened and I just kept getting bigger. I didn't eat right, and I didn't exercise the way I probably should have. A few times my best friend in middle school and I got up early to go running at the school. but that only happened once or twice. My parents divorced when I was little, not saying that added to my over eating and no moving, but it added stress to my life. My mom and dad both remarried, and that brought even more stress to me. I never felt good enough for my step mom, and to this day honestly I still don't. I feel that she judges me for some reason. And that reason I think is cause I am fat. If i buy something while I am out with her that is either food, or large clothing, then to me I always think she is saying"you don't need that." I love my step mom, don't get me wrong I love her very much. I just wish that I could be better for her some how. 

My other family members also haven't made being chunky any easier. My brother, who is the golden child of the family is fit. He was a wrestler in high school, and continued to keep in shape. His wife is also very thin. She made a comment to my sister about me making bad decisions when it came to food to my little sister, and that hurt me deep. She had only  met me once and she was judging me on account of what I ate that night. I can't even remember what I ate. 

My mom and her husband are always supportive when it comes to bettering myself. They even paid for me to be on Jenny Craig before I got married. I lost a ton of weight then and looked amazing on my wedding day. I didn't feel fat or heavy or anything. It was a great day. Looking back, I would do anything to be that size again. 

All the time, my dad is saying "if you just cut out sweets, you will lose weight." or "if you stop drinking soda you will lose weight" its like is there nothing else on your mind then my weight? seriously it drives me crazy.

The only one who doesn't make me feel like a fat slob is my husband. I love him to death. He is my high school sweetheart and I would be lost with out him. He has seen me at my thinnest and my heaviest (which is now) and he still tells me I am beautiful and he thinks I am sexy. Babe, you are my everything and I promise to be make our lives better with this weight loss journey.

So here is my challenge to my self. To eat right, and to keep a food journal and an activity journal. I am starting the Weight Watchers Points Plus Plan this week. And I am going to be strict about what I eat and when I exercise. So not sure any one will read this, but I am determined to get healthy. To me, its not about being stick thin, its about being healthy. The smaller pants will be a bonus :-) So here I go....