Up in the middle of the night

I am awake...shocker I know. I am trying to figure out how to get on track with this weight loss challenge I gave myself. My goal is to be a size 12/14 by the end of summer. I know that sounds like an "out there" goal, some people have already told me that I wont be able to do it. Or I will fail epically. I kinda want to smack them in the face and show them that I can do this. I didnt wake up early today and go for a walk like I wanted too.

Other things are on my mind right now. And I cant seem to turn my brain off and relax. I finally confronted my dad about how he makes me feel when he makes snide comments about my weight. He told me that he loves me no matter what. I know he loves me. He is my dad. Here is a pic of my dad and me. This was at my wedding 4 years ago.

This was when I was a size 18. Two months after I got married my best friend got married and I was a size 16 at her wedding. Looking back at these photos I really can not wait to be that small again. I know that size isnt small, but to me i was happier and better looking back then. Anyway back to my dad and my conversation. I was my dad's little girl for a long time. Then he remarried and his new wife had a daughter. I love my step sister and dont resent her in any way! But I dont think my dad loves me as much as he loves her. She is so talented and pretty. And she is skinny. She is smart, and just perfect in every way. I cant measure up to that. I am going to try to though. I am going to reinvent myself and make myself better. I will love myself more and my husband will see me as a trophe wife. Here is my husband and I. I love him a whole heck of a lot.